Thursday, December 22, 2011

Injo (Aum Sante Maria)

Wine spills from your chalice
Blood red stain upon your robe
The sacraments give comfort
But oh God you're feeling old

Your masters pass the flaming stole
Before their eyes go long
You fade back inside yourself
And listen for the song

(Chorus)
Aum Sante Maria Hallelujah El Shaddai
Broken open koans "I am That" and "I am I"

You start to pace the hallway
Wearing only your remorse
Fully clothed for battle
If they'd only bring your horse

Time and legalese and King James English
Fill your head
The only place your shouting gels
Is lying in your bed

(Chorus)

Grab the scythe or cling to life
Based on the neurons flare
Regardless of your choice the song you heard
Is always there

(Chorus)

Friday, December 16, 2011

Occam's Gestalt

I am living proof that Occam's Razor makes a lot of sense.  But it doesn't mean that there is not a place - and a joy - in complexity as well.

Complication is my modus operandi - and also a signal to noise ratio for how my particular pathologies are raging within the machine on a given day.

Still,  on the relative plane, complication is also a gift.

Complication is embedded in patterns - or maybe the other way around - but without question there is a relationship between Gestalt and Complication.

Complication - at times I have to watch myself:

1000 words instead of 100 to explain something at an emotional or professional level.  Drives others crazy;  eyes roll back in their heads or simply gray out to those fuzzy screens you'd use to get on antenna-ed TV's.

Trying to get ideas across. Often good ideas - but by the time they spider off in lexicological decision trees about how to proceed,  the listener is left with a spaghetti-ed mess of rhetoric that must be abandoned or simply not engaged with from the outset.

Gestalt: at other times,  I just watch 'my' Self:

Spiritually,  patterns within the complicated explanation light up; figure 8's on the spaghetti plate glowing neon bright or muted pastels  circling this way and back and eating their own tailes.*(tales|tails)

Complexity and Gestalt  were birthed from a corn husk last nite.  It flowered and opened like a womb,  and I was ushered into a darkly dimpled Nebraska evening.

Below:  the earth;  verdant,  rich and wet

Above: somebody stringing Christmas lights in figure 8's *exactly* 17 feet above the tallest corn stalk.  On the lights, a race of sort - imps and devas and faeries or god-knows-whats chasing each other towards infinity,  and me,  suddenly on the bench,  begging to join the race.

Be careful what you ask for.

The want, borne from the need,  was fulfilled.  I was in the race,  baton in hand, and the other racers dissolved into me.  ONE,  racing till my heart synced with the light's on-and-offs and the speed dissolved into no-speed and the distance dissolved into no-distance,  and I raced,  one foot *just dragging* in the relative,  with the rest of me forcing myself into

Infinity:

Which planted itself into new stalks,  causal wires criss-crossing into impossible patterns below ground:

Complexity:

Which I was left on waking with trying to decipher, or simply live.

Namaste.

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Key to Graduation

Growing up, I was internal
Hoping, dreaming for the day that others would see me as special
Pain constricted the exterior
But strengthened the interior

The Muse introduced herself early
I wrote and sung and played and imagined
And hoped

And imagined hope

Reaching for The One who would
Accept the exterior
But See the interior
Believe the interior
Share lives in the interior

This many years on
Pattern recognition has improved
I'm still There

Reaching with imagined hope towards
Blinking lights
Which sate and bate in figure eights

I have the toughest teacher in the world
Giving me daily lesson plans

The challenge - can I live from Here without going There.

I'll keep trying
Or simply give up trying
And probably, if the intention in surrender is pure
Be graced by release

And Graduate.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Alphabet Soup



Upward drizzle from the train to the platform to the escalator to the causeway.

The Muse or one of her cellmates has obviously set up shop here:  a causal bunker,  well protected. She's torching passer-bys with creative fire.

Most of the commuters' suits are unreasonably fire-proof,  but not mine.  I'm burned to ashes and am rising again before I even know what's hit me.  Under my left arm,  The Book.  In my right hand,  a set of golden tongs.  Over my eyes:  nothing.  Everything is shining and new and waiting to be discovered.  Undulating fields of love as I see what everybody else has become,  and what I can do about it.

They're all letters:

Commuters come personalities come images come words come letters.

There's a pattern here,  but it's in the fact that there IS no pattern

The lawyers,  accountants,  programmers,  construction workers,  Baristas,  hangers-on,  applicants,  daycare drop-outs, businesswomen, bankers,  analysts and traders...

...all reduced to a single letter each.  Nothing to do with their profession;  many aren't even english:  Hebrew,  Sanskrit, Greek, Aramaic, French, Spanish, Slang, Graffiti...

my personal Tower of Babel Buffet.

There are no seconds here,  however -  all firsts;   even the same letters shine differently as I pluck them with my trusted tongs and put them into the book.

It's mechanical at first,  I pick and choose who should go in,  then relax into an almost random sweep,  then a  fully fluid pick and grab.

The book flips pages as it fills,  and even seems to be indexing itself.

The Muse is waiting at the exit,  cigarette in hand and absurd pocket watch dangling from her waist jacket pocket.

"You like?"   she seems to ask as she takes the book  opens it *exactly* in the middle,  and watches as a visual cacophony unfolds itself - up into thunderheads,  then splitting and folding and splitting and folding in on itself, then spraying everyone in sight with chains of God,  anchored in the The Book.

With that,  she says a word,  the crowd moves as one,  and she skis through the lobby,  out the door,  and through the downtown streets:

Creativity, pulled by God,  through the noosphere and further.

God bless the Muse, and her Alphabet Soup.


Namaste.


Saturday, November 5, 2011

Metta meta Metta



Metta meta Metta.

I stopped at my Muse's tree yesterday,  and spent a considerable amount of time walking in and around the root system.  I'm quite certain it was never intended to be used as a labyrinth, or even labelled Her tree - but the nexus of realities I've been threading myself through have their own set of rules,  and top of list is that they don't give a tinker's damn about how thing's should be.

If they did,  would there be shining galaxies waiting to be plucked as ripe fruit from the branches?  Or light shining from the soil? Or a candied wind that wraps itself around me like a shawl and dances me to new absurdities I missed the first time round?

The last find,  as always,  was the Most interesting:  A living parchment between the second and third branches;  aspen papyrus with three words:  Metta meta Metta.

It was invasive to peel the parchment from the tree, and somehow,  it was redundant to take it anyways.

Sometimes the Muse's embrace is full and sensual; sometimes a  gift basket dropped off in a somnolescent moment during a commute home. And then other times like today,   it's simply a pointer to something that's already been branded in my heart or mind,  needing some attention.

Such was this,  a reminder of my narrative,  for today anyways: Metta meta Metta.


In spite of my brokenness and rusted parts -memory of a goldfish, self confidence up and down like a toilet seat - purpose continually re-imagined, scrubbed,  re-imagined again -  maybe because of them - I am compelled to glory in the grand design, the One-in-All,  the Theory of Everything. And today that is summed up in those three words.

Metta - loving kindness;  compassion,  the sire of grace and intenion:

sandwhiching:

Meta - the story of stories,  the Platonic forms felt if not understood - the arch that connects it all. 
The place where details are abstracted  to a place where memory is not a problem - they *are* the very nature of remembering.

sandwhiched by

Metta - loving kindness; compassion, the sire of grace and intention


When my endless curiosity is lit up by Knowledge then dulled by my limitations, it's important to know what it is to Know:

And for me,  tonite anyways,  it's Metta meta Metta.